I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
