he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
