my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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