How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Randomize
