Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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