I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize