Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
