I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
