We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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