Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
