Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
