just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
