found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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