I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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