Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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