I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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