Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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