Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
