so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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