giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
