Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
