You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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