My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
