batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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