tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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