i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
