I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
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I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
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So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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