he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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