Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize