ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
