just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
