Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
