I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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