I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
did i walk over a car last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize