Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
