I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize