yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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