its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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