He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
