apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
