This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
