I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
