So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
