I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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