I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
