I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
