you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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