Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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