Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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