Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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