Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When did angry sex become our thing?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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