Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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