Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
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I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
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Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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