I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
