Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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