and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize