In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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