you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
