I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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