Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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